I've been dreading this day the second Summer started. The first day of school. The first day of my life where I'll be face to face with people who were once known to be my friends, my safety net, my voice of reason and self-destruction. I grew up in more ways than I can imagine and I feel that it still isn't enough to deal with this.

And now my walls have crumbled giving them the advantage to sabotage my stronger self to nothing but broken promises and burning grudges. Their hearts replaced with a child abuser's rage and alcoholic's confusion with reality. I have no idea how I'm going to react when I run into them next Tuesday.

The day's slowing creeping up on me and I have no choice but to accept their undying hate for me. But it doesn't mean I have to pretend that we didn't have something we all took for granted. Something we thought everyone shared. We should've known that bliss like this never lasts and never will.

Life is a game of chance. You never know what cards you'll be dealt with or what person you'll fall in love with. You just have to hope that you'll have someone who'll pick you up, dust you off, and take you back into the unpredictable world one baby step at a time. Holding your hand as long as you need it.

Some of us are lucky enough to find that one special person. But for the rest of us, bad luck is hiding at every corner waiting for you to fall into their flawless trap of loveless relationships and abused emotions.

I was one of the lucky ones. I fell into the arms of the most amazing person I've ever met. He brightens up my day without knowing it. When I catch him staring at me, it sends an electrical surge through my whole body. Because I know exactly what he's thinking. And I can't help but return the favor with a blush that turns up the corners of my mouth in a permanent smile. He's my escape from the world where people die in the streets everyday. He was the only one who has faith in me from the beginning. The one who was by my side without hesitation. He's helped me grow closer to God and find my inner self. The sweeter side, the happier me that I somehow lost. I'm in love with a guy, that loves me back.

I couldn't imagine my life without him and I never will.

As Shakespeare once said, "The course of true love never did run smooth."
If fighting his dad is what it takes to be in his arms then so be it.

Like from the song that's stuck to my head.

"When you leave, my colors fade to grey."